Two reasons you can’t put your phone down. And two solutions.
Reasons
The first reason: Dopamine addiction
None of us are hooked on our smartphone because of a moral failing. And it’s not because we have no self-control. We’re hooked on our smartphone because it’s a Dopamine gumball machine. It feels like winning a prize each time we get a quick hit of attention or validation.
Dopamine is a chemical released in the brain’s major reward center that functions as a neurotransmitter. It gets released into the brain’s pleasure center and motivates us to do things that will feel good. Dopamine is so powerful, it can be released just in anticipation of receiving good news, like before you check the score of a football game, if you think your team is winning. Or if you’re reaching for the phone because you expect to get a text from someone you really like. We start to feel good in anticipation of feeling good. That’s how it works with cocaine and cigarettes, it’s how it works for clicking “place your order” when online shopping, and it’s how it works for smartphones.
If Dopamine makes us feel good, then why would an addiction to it make us miserable?
Because according to Dr. Anna Lembke, psychiatrist and chief of Stanford University’s dual diagnosis addiction clinic, “pleasure and pain are processed in the same parts of the brain and the brain tries hard to keep them in balance.” As soon as Dopamine is released, the brain tries to “down regulate” by reducing the number of receptors that are stimulated. So when it tips in one direction, the brain wants to restore the balance. If we could put the phone down long enough, we’d go back to equilibrium. But instead we drop another coin in the gumball machine for a quick hit.
The second reason: Scrolling as dissociation
A newer theory about compulsive smartphone use is that picking up the phone is a form of dissociation. Dissociation is when we completely disconnect from our surroundings and lose track of time. It isn’t always bad – a person might lose themselves in a daydream, or while reading an amazing book.
But when we’re online, dissociation looks like picking up the phone to check for a text and then realizing an hour later you got sucked into a TikTok rabbit hole.
Maybe dissociation serves a purpose. We live in an unstable and often terrifying world.
Looked at this way, it makes sense that we’re all staring glassy-eyed into an alternate universe. The volatility and instability in the U.S. and around the world are too much for most of us to process. But dissociation doesn’t help in the long run. You don’t need me to explain why it’s better for your mental health to take action, in even the tiniest way, to change your tiny corner of this universe for the better.
Solutions
The first solution: Taking agency
A smartphone is supposed to be a tool that works for you. Making your life more convenient and enabling instant communication with almost anybody. But when smartphone users are compulsively checking the phone every 10 seconds for stimulation, they become the tools - for the tech bros of Silicon Valley.
There are ways to grab back the reigns. The devices are cleverly designed to be nearly impossible to put down. Anyone who’s ever left the house without their phone accidentally and felt like they were crawling out of their skin can attest to that. But those same smartphone designers also offer ways to curb your own use. Here are the steps to be more fully engaged in your life.
It’s not practical to go on a complete fast, but you could do intermittent fasting, only using the phone at certain times of day. There are apps and devices that block out all online use for long stretches of time. Here are some other ideas:
· Set your most used apps to “time out” after a set number of minutes.
· Turn off notifications so you’re not tempted to pick it up.
· Move the phone out of your bedroom when you sleep.
· Use Do Not Disturb function liberally.
But most importantly, add at least one big, non-screen activity per week. Something to get you engaged in the real world. Take a class to learn a new skill, play pickleball, see an art house film with your friends. If you have one really fun, engaging activity each week to look forward to, you won’t miss the phone as much.
The second solution: Getting bored
Dr Lembke urges us to “make space in our brains to let our thoughts wash over us rather than constantly seeking stimulation.” The antidote to being a Dopamine fiend is letting your mind wander, uninterrupted. This is especially true if you want to boost your creativity.
· Leave your phone in the next room, lie in bed, and listen to your favorite album when you 16 years old, from start to finish.
· Leave your phone inside and walk around your neighborhood, looking for cats to pet.
· Hide your phone in your car and visit a local park, lake, river, or mountain trail. Take mental pictures.
The part of your brain that’s addicted to Dopamine will try to convince you after 6 seconds to give up. “This is a stupid waste of time. Where did you even get this idea - some random therapist’s blog?”
It just wants you to pick up the phone again. Don’t listen to it.
No one’s saying it will be easy; of course not. But any big achievement requires sustained focus and lots of hard work. Ironically, if you make more “empty space” in your day, you will be more productive. It’s possible to rewire your brain and break the reward cycle you get from your phone. You will lengthen your attention span. This will let you focus on achieving your goals - and you will feel better. According to Dr. Lembke, “Doing things that are hard is one of the best ways to pursue a life worth living, because the pleasure we get afterwards is more enduring.”
The Guardian
Constant craving: how digital media turned us all into dopamine addicts
Jamie Waters
Aug 22, 2021
The Conversation
Why it’s important to think about social media use as a form of dissociation, rather than addiction
August 5, 2022
The Wall Street Journal
Digital Addictions Are Drowning Us in Dopamine
By Anna Lembke
Aug. 13, 2021